If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
