I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize