You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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