Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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