The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize