I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
