Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
