so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
