My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
