I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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