I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
