what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize