great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
