why didn't you poke me back
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When are your genitals available?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
