i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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