i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
