If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize