Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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