Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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