Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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