i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
