Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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