So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
