I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
