he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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