butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
