You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
