STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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