Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
