At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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