everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Help. Why am I so naked?
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