It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
