Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
