Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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