my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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