Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
