can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
