i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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