So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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