Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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