Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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