just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize