Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
