his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
