"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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