If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
