Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
