the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize