Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
