I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
