Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
