from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
