Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
