Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize