This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
