return my video game
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
