Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
