Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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