Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
