Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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