Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
