East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
