I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
