If i come over, it means nothing
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
