Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
