Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
